The computer doctor

One day John was complaining to his friend “my elbow hurts. I bettersee a doctor”. His friend said, Don’t do that. There is a computer inthe drug store that can diagnose anything. It’s quicker and cheaperthan visiting a doctor. Simply put a urine sample in the machine andit will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it. Itonly costs $10.00.
John figured he had nothing to lose so he filled a jar with a urinesample. He went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured inthe sample and deposited $10.00. The computer started to make a weirdnose and various lights began to flash. After a brief pause, a smallslip of paper printed.
It said: You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water,
avoid heavy labor,
it will be better in two weeks.

Later that evening, while thinking how amazing that computer was, Johnbegan to wonder if it could be fooled. He decided to give it a try.He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples fromhis wife and daughter. To top it off, he masterbated into the brew.He went back to the drug store, poured the sample into the machine anddeposited $10.00. The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis:-

Your water is hard,
get a softener.
Your dog has worms,
get him shots.
Your daughter is using cocaine,
get her into a rehab clinic.
Your wife is pregnant,
it’s not yours, get a lawyer.
If you don’t stop jerking off,
your tennis elbow will never get better!